Death, Dying and Funerals are subjects that no one seems to want to talk about.  They shy away from the subject as if it was taboo.  Well, it’s not and it can’t be.  It is a fact of life.  We will all have to deal with it in some way at some point in our lives and being at least a little prepared is a help to the ones left behind to cope with it.

My husband and I were talking about this the other day – we have been faced with a number of situations over the last couple of years where both of us had potentially life threatening illnesses.  Fortunately, we both survived and are likely to do so for quite a while, but what came out of our conversation was the fact that we haven’t really discussed properly what we want.  Because you talk around the subject, you assume that everyone ‘sort of knows’ what you want – but do they?  I have quite strong views about what should happen to what is left of me, and how I want to be ‘commemorated’ if that is the right word, he has less strong views but views none the less. 

 Having discussed it amongst ourselves then came the realisation that the one who really needs to know is our daughter.  In a worst case scenario she would have to deal with both of us at once, to my mind it would be a help if she was at least aware of our wishes and didn’t have to worry about that.  The upshot of this is that we have decided to write out exactly what we want and to give her those details – I can see her reaction now, something along the lines of ‘Oh Mother, do you have to…’ (I’m always Mother when I’m in trouble!).  That aside, I will feel more comfortable knowing that I have done my best to make things as easy as possible for her.

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